The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
