you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
