WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
