I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's official drugs can't kill me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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