Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
