capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
