This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
