she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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