I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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