This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize