Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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