so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My dick has a subreddit
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
