I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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