My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
