I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
