Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize