We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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