i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
