you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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