i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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