She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
