We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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