well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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