Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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