then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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