im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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