So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
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I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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