East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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