i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
