Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize