My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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