found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
