i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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