already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
