i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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