and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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