Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
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ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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