What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
tell me about the eggs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
