I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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