South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
