The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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