My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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