Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize