Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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