Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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