even my farts smell like vagina
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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