Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
