He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
