there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
