the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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