I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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