i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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