Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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