plz talk dirty to me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
