we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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