we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
