Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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