she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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