No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
