He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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