So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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